Learn From Your Mistakes

Throughout life, we are faced with many defeats. Wether it is failing a test or losing your job, things don't always work out. This is just part of life. Even though we wish we would, humans can't control everything. Some things are just out of our hands. It's incredibly important to acknowledge this. Yes, something may go wrong for you, but you cannot be defeated. Everything in life is a lesson to be learned. So what you failed that math quiz freshmen year? Maybe it is what you needed to kick start your motivation or it helped you find a new way to study for assessments. Life is going to have its challenges, but it's important to step back and realize a lot of what you think is big a deal actually is quite insignificant. Sometimes you just have to dust yourself off and move on. The world isn't going to end because you missed the final penalty kick and lost the game. You learn from what you did wrong and next time hopefully the same thing won't happen. Defeat is a mindset you cannot let yourself succumb to because as soon as you do, that is when you rally have failed. 

Insignificant Joy

Sometimes the happiest moments can be the the most insignificant. For me, memories are more about who you were with than what you were doing. Sitting and talking cane be the best thing in the world. When I get to see old friends and catch up, that's when I'm truly filled with joy. No matter how long it's been, it always seems we end up with stomachs that hurt from laughing too hard. Today was on of those really great days. My childhood best friend and I got to see each other. She lives in Florida so keeping in touch is sometimes hard. However, we always are able to pick right back up from where we left off. We've know each other since we were four and have always been super close. She's the kind of friend who knows what you're thinking before you even really know it yourself. Getting to see her today made me incredibly happy. So even though we did absolutely nothing of real importance today, it still was one of the best days I've had in a while. 

It's a Man's World

Winnie has suffered a lot of neglect in her life. As a child all her physical needs were met, but her emotional ones were often forgotten. Still after all of this she still craves her father's approval. When Wen Fu and Winnie return to Shanghai, Winnie hopes her father will be glad to see her. In China during this time period, women were always told to never blame men. These beliefs were still rooted deep inside of Winnie. She doesn't blame her father. He knew that Wen Fu wasn't a good man. He still let his daughter marry into a life of abuse. Still, Winnie doesn't become angry about this. Instead of admitting that her father may be at fault, she uses bad luck as her excuse for why her life turned out to be so awful. In many ways, Winnie's life is turning into her mother's. Her mother wasn't happy in her marriage. She fell in love with another man and then disappeared. We know that Winnie eventually disappears too. She ends up in America without her husband. As much as she hated Wen Fu, she never blames him for being an absolutely terrible person. She does, however, blame his mother. Her culture never allowed the men in her life to take responsibility for their awful behavior.

The Ever-Present Symbol of Food

Throughout The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan, food is constantly mentioned. I think for Winnie the tastes and smells of her old country are the last few good memories she has of home. Her life in China was terrible. Readers hear horror story after horror story. Meals she enjoyed are sometimes the only positive things talked about in a chapter. These are the little things people need to latch onto. I don't want to make something bigger than it is, but I believe these insignificant memories are what helped Winnie get through all the awful atrocities she had to endure. Subconsciously, these are the things she turned to. They were and still are her little moments of bliss she can remember. Sometimes people need to forgets the big picture and recall the little details. It may only numb the pain for a few seconds, but these tiny moments make all the difference.

One Love

Winnie had only ever been loved by her mother. Wen Fu obviously didn't truly care about her and her father was estranged from her for over ten years. So one cannot blame Winnie for falling for a man who seemed to get her. Gan treated Winnie very well. He was polite and kind to her. He understood her superstitions. I, personally, am really impressed that Winnie was able to keep it together after Gan's death. It must have been incredibly hard for her. I think this is part of the reason why she never fully allowed herself to fall for Jimmy Louis. Losing a loved one changes people. Winnie never even allowed herself to fully fall in love with Gan when he was alive. She waited until after he had died. She was already guarded. She let herself fall one time and she ended up hurt in the process. It's hard to love when you're afraid. 

An Odd Friendship

What makes someone a friend? Is it kindness, common ground, or something else? For Winnie and Helen it's secrets. Originally, this could have been considered loyalty. However, Helen threatens Winnie and forces her to tell Pearl about her past. I would argue that this doesn't mean Helen and Winnie aren't friends. They knew each other during a time that there wasn't that many other people to know. They bonded because there was no one else. Some bond are too strong to break. Had the circumstances been different, there is no doubt in my mind that Winnie would have tried to avoid Helen at all costs. Life is sometimes lonely though. Helen was there when no one else was. So for that, you have to give her a little credit. Winnie needed someone and Helen was there to fill that role, even if she didn't do a great job. 

An Unusual Safety Blanket

Throughout The Kitchen God's Wife the idea of luck plays a major role in some of the characters' lives. Like Winnie, I believe in the idea of luck. I am not nearly as extreme with my ideas though. I think everything happens for a reason. However, in my opinion these reason are sometimes out of our hands. Winnie doesn't share this view. She finds things that she or someone else has done to explain every occurrence in her life. Winnie blames everything and everyone except herself. She says it's something she has done not necessarily just herself. She thinks it's small things that lead to big issues. She uses luck as am excuse to not get into deeper issues. It's a way of her avoiding her issues and her mistakes. Luck is her safety blanket.